Well, here I am. Writing my first blog. What on earth is a blog, I wondered only a month ago as I read a recent edition of the Writer's Digest. Talk about behind the times, heh! From the article, I learned that you can do several things with your own blog account--from simply journaling and sharing your life and experiences with others to promoting your own books. Right now, however, I will not be doing the latter as I do not have my own book to promote. Some day I would like to publish something worth reading. In the meantime, I enjoy writing in my spare time and avoiding it all at the same time. Sometimes I think I have great ideas for articles and stories. Sometimes I think I have great ideas for procrastinating. In fact, if I were as good at the writing part as I am the avoiding counterpart, I think I might actually be a fairly good writer. Hmm. I had better do something about that--the procrastinating part that is--er I mean, not doing it anymore. You know what I mean!
Right now, my main job is raising my family. I have two daughters, Danielle, who is nine, and Chloe, who is 16 months. They, along with my husband, are the light of my life. I can honestly say, I have learned more from being a mother than from any other experience (including college) in my life.
I have forgotten what it is like to be a nine-year-old girl. Danielle reminds me all the time. Let me tell ya, it's not easy. The pressures that kids are faced with are unbelievable. And when you are that age, you have no concept that the taunting, and teasing is only temporary, and that ten years down the line none of it will matter at all. It is hard to help her know that her pain now will help her to be a stronger person--a better person. I tell her, but I am sure she does not believe. She understands today, and how long today can feel. She understands how far away ten years is.
I understand how frighteningly close it is. Only yesterday it seems, Danielle was Chloe's age. This is why I love being a mother, because some day my babies will be all grown up and I want to remember the special moments. I want to embrace them, and cherish them so I never have regrets. Last night, as Danielle and I talked about all the things that hurt her, and bother her, and worry her, she gave me the most precious compliment I have ever received. I was lying next to her on her bed, watching her lips quiver as she fought back tears that were determined to win. I told her what any mother would, that it is ok to cry, and that she would probably feel better if she did. It would give her strength to deal with these things tomorrow. So she cried. Then she looked up at me, tears still streaming, and said, "Mom, you make everyone you talk to feel so special. Like they are individuals and what they have to say is important." Wow! My heart swelled with emotion and love for this little nine-year-old who can be so sentient. I am quite sure that I do not make everyone feel special, but I do her and that is special to me.
Well, I did not mean to get so personal on my first blog. But this was what was on my mind today. I plan to try to blog at least once every day. We will see how that goes. I am not good at sticking with journaling for too long, although I have been pretty consistent with that for the last six months. Thank you, Betsy! Well, I hear my baby. She is up from her nap, so ta ta for now!